Ten do’s and dont’s for driving in Morocco. Follow these few, simple rules and you’ll be fine. Honestly, you will. No, really, you will.

1. Get horny. Your horn (tee hee) is of much more use to you than your brakes, rear view mirror and accelerator. Use it long and hard and often.
2. Ignore indicators. Drivers in Morocco use their indicators a lot. There they are blinking away merrily and arbitrarily. Putting on your left-hand indicator does not mean you are turning left, no, it does not. What it might mean, is that you are pulling into the kerb on the right. Or, that you just forgot to switch it off. Who knows?
3. Don’t ignore someone coming in the opposite direction flashing their lights at you. This means there is a police check point ahead. There are police radar points everywhere. On the motorway, they hide in bushes in the central reservation or behind artful clumps of palm trees, ready to leap out and fine you.
4. Don’t presume you have right of way on roundabouts. You do and you don’t. Where there are traffic lights on the feeder road, the incomers have precedence. Why oh why?
5. Tailgate. You have to really. I like doing this to big 4×4 BMWs in my Toyota Yaris. Bumper up with your lights on full beam to someone who is slowing down for a red light, and then toot impatiently.
6. Give some money to the beggars who are lined up at the traffic lights, or buy a box of tissues. Well, would you like that job?
7. If you are out in the country and someone needs a lift, give it to them. They can’t afford a car and you are in one – simple.
8. Don’t mess with a Moto. They are tools of the devil, driven by Satan’s helpers. They will dart up your inside when you are trying to turn, push your wing mirror in so that they get past you in a queue, and veer into your path with no warning whatsoever. But they are carrying live and breakable human beings….
9. Do make sure you have lots of good luck charms, verses from the Quran, hands of Fatima and other symbols to protect you from bad luck, the evil eye and accidents hanging from your mirror. Much more effective than driving sanely.
10. Don’t do it… take  a cab, a bus, a train, or even a horse and carriage…..

Have fun!